


The Puzzles of Ryan Bergara's Secret

by Seidoo_Reiki



Series: The Secret of Ryan Bergara [3]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Creepy Ricky, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Frustrated Shane, Gen, Mind Games, Multiple Personalities, Not Beta Read, Possession, Sad Ryan, they are fighting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:15:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27892924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seidoo_Reiki/pseuds/Seidoo_Reiki
Summary: Ryan and Shane's friendship suffers after all the weird events related to Ryan's secret. Ryan is trying to protect Shane from Ricky, but Shane is determined to make sure Ryan is safe and okay---“I know I’m so selfish for saying this. But I don’t want you snooping around my secret anymore. I want you to pretend that you know nothing. Let us go back before all these weird things happened, please.”“Pretending everything is okay just like you have been doing all this time? Me? Like hell I can do that, Ryan! Why can’t you just tell me? What is this secret about? I feel like I’m going insane!”“It isn’t like… I don’t want to tell you, but I can’t, bud.”
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej
Series: The Secret of Ryan Bergara [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2020414
Comments: 9
Kudos: 13





	The Puzzles of Ryan Bergara's Secret

**Author's Note:**

> Part three of the series of Ryan Bergara's Secret
> 
> Thank you for reading this fanfic, to think I continue it this far 
> 
> This chapter is more like a mix up between Ricky, Ryan and Shane's POV. Finally I can write from Ricky's POV, but I tried not to dive too deep into his feelings. 
> 
> And sorry about the grammar mistake, I tried my best to write even if English isn't my first language
> 
> Please enjoy it

Early in the morning at the outside of an apartment door, a man with glasses reaches the key in his pocket. The sky is still dark and the place is quiet. He enters the apartment in a casual manner and turns on the light. There is a mirror near the front door and he checks himself first.

No blood, his cold eyes stare back at his reflection and he smiles.

He takes off his boots, dusting them a little bit then putting them in the shoe drawer. He doesn’t take off his black long coat till he reaches the washing machine in the bathroom. He takes out a zip lock plastic bag from the pocket of the coat. Inside of the bag, there is a black face mask and a pair of black gloves. He puts them aside for the moment before he puts the coats into the washing machine with the rest of his clothes.

Then, he takes off the glasses and takes a hot shower. Then he puts on some comfy clothes, a brown t-shirt and blue pajama pants. He turns on the washing machine and grabs the plastic bag. He pulls a bucket from a closet and pour bleach in. He puts in the gloves and the mask there, letting them get soaked by the bleach.

He looks satisfied and smiles. Then he takes more cleaning tools from the closet. He puts on plastic gloves and starts to wipe the floor near the front door. He is making sure he doesn’t miss out a single dirt, he even collects some of fallen hair from the floor.

Once he makes sure that the floor is clean enough, he puts on his glasses back and tidy up the cleaning tools back into the closet. Then he drains out the bleach in the bucket and throws away the soaked gloves and mask.

It will make his apartment reeked with bleach for a moment, but he doesn’t mind.

He walks into the kitchen in a relaxed manner and opens the fridge. He takes out a bottle of wine and his face is a little bit sour when he notices there is only a little left.

Nonetheless, he takes out a wine glass and pours himself a drink. He stares at the red wine inside the glass and smiles.

It looks like blood.

He raises the glass to see it better under the lamp light.

Well, it looks similar to venous blood, rather than arterial blood, to be exact.

Then he grabs his phone and walks to the balcony with his glass of wine. It is cold outside, but he doesn’t mind. He turns on the phone and sees so many notifications pop out but he ignores them. He clicks the recording app while sipping his wine.

There is a new voice recording, as expected.

He chuckles a little, wondering what the message is about, though he can guess it.

He taps on the voice recording and hears the message.

“ ** _Why didn't you tell me about Shane meeting you again? You should have warned me beforehand! And… I know he is stupid, but please don’t do anything to him, okay? Please, God, please! I will keep the deal on my side, so please don’t touch any other people near me… I’m begging you. I will try… to not let him know the truth about yo- no, us. So, please don’t do anything to him. Please, Goldsworth…”_ **

There are so many ‘please’ words, he chuckles harder than before. He sips the wine again and enjoys the cold wind on his face.

He taps the phone again and brings it near his mouth.

“I didn’t tell you because I want to know what your reaction will be next. He pissed me off, a little bit, so it is only fair for you to be pissed off too. Though, I may say he was… rather adorable, trying to figure out without knowing what to do. It will be fun to mess him around. And about our deal? Of course I will keep my deal. But, you know, Bergara? Keeping the secret of my identity is far more important than keeping the deal between us. So, it is on him, not on me. If he stays quiet, so do I.”

He pauses for a second. “And don’t forget to buy more wine,” he adds.

He looks satisfied and pockets the phone. “It is such a shame I can’t meet you directly, I want to mess with you more, Bergara.” Then, he laughs and sips the rest of the wine.

He stares at the empty glass.

Maybe next time he can add blood to the bottle of wine and sees Bergara’s reaction for that. He wonders if Bergara knows that he only likes wine because it reminds him of blood, he also wonders if Bergara knows that he always chooses the right color of wine for him.

Ricky smiles coldly and enters the room again.

0o0o0o0

Ryan rubs his tired face and sighs.

_Damn Ricky, damn the world._

His last voice message pisses him off so bad. It is so like Ricky to mess with him around. If only he wants to cooperate with Ryan, then they won’t be in this mess.

He really doesn’t know how to deal with Shane now. Shane knows something, Ryan doesn’t know what. But, Shane is suspicious of him now and he won’t just drop it off now.

Since Ryan can’t even make Ricky work together with him to hide their secret, Ryan doesn’t know how to throw Shane out of their trace. He isn’t sure he can lie or make things up. But, Ryan knows that he can’t let Shane know the truth either.

That is the deal. Ryan remembers it clearly.

**_“You and me share the same body but different lives. Let’s keep out from messing out each other’s life, should we? As long as you don’t disturb my life, then I won’t disturb yours. So, that’s mean, no one from your side can know about our secret. If you let our secret out, then I will destroy the peaceful life of yours, Bergara. You know me, mark my words.”_ **

That deal sounds so simple but also so dreading. There are so many times Ryan just wants to confess to someone about his nightmarish life, but he knows he can’t. Even though at some point, it is getting easier to think that Ricky is never there in the first place, that is how Ryan stays sane until now.

That being, Ryan sometimes doesn’t know how to address him, Ricky is good at erasing his presence. He owns so little things in Ryan’s apartment. Just his favorite black long coat, his favorite black boots, his dark framed glasses, a bottle of wine and a box filled with papers that Ryan never opened. Only them, the rest is Ryan.

As long as Ricky doesn’t mess with him around, Ryan can forget about his existence. Sometimes, it feels like Ricky is unreal and just a nightmare. As long as Ryan can ignore the frequent small injuries or some missing memories inside his head, Ryan feels okay.

Or maybe that is just himself trying to pretend he is okay, to be sane.

“Are you… okay?”

Ryan raises his head and finds a worried Shane looks at him. The air between them has been heavy for days, they are gradually drifting out of each other. Their coworkers start to notice something is going on between them, but Ryan is dodging out the questions. He tries to avoid Shane and that goes the same for the other guy.

“I’m… okay,” Ryan says. To be honest, he hasn’t been okay for years so this is actually his usual state, just a little bit worse.

“We need to talk, we can’t keep doing this,” Shane also looks tired.

“You sound like you want to break up with me,” Ryan jokes with a bitter smile.

“I almost want to say that breaking up is easier than dealing with whatever is going on with you, but… breaks up sucks too.”

Shane stands from his chair and motions Ryan to follow him. “Come on, let's talk outside.”

Ryan sighs and follows Shane with heavy legs. They walk near the empty parking lot and Shane leans to the building with a sour face.

“I hate serious talk, but we need to talk.”

“I know,” Ryan admits it. He can’t keep avoiding Shane, it will be bad if Shane snooping out more.

“So, can you tell me? What’s going on with you?”

It is so rare to see Shane so openly looks worried about him, Ryan actually wants to cry. He is tired of hiding things, to pretend things are okay while it isn’t. He wants to be normal like other people. He doesn’t want to keep this secret, _but--_

“I know I’m so selfish for saying this. But I don’t want you snooping around my secret anymore. I want you to pretend that you know nothing. Let us go back before all these weird things happened, please.”

Shane laughs bitterly. “At least now, you admit that you have a secret, pal.”

Ryan can’t even laugh along. He feels hopeless, he doesn’t know what to do. He can’t deceive Shane more than this, but he also can’t break the deal with Ricky.

“Pretending everything is okay just like you have been doing all this time? Me? Like hell I can do that, Ryan! Why can’t you just tell me? What is this secret about? I feel like I’m going insane!”

It is also rare to see Shane so worked up about something. In another situation, Ryan might enjoy it and teases him to no end. But, Ryan can’t enjoy this. He feels guilty.

“It isn’t like… I don’t want to tell you, but I **can’t** , bud.”

Ryan tries to take a deep breath and calm his inner turmoil, he wonders if Shane can see him slowly freaking out.

Ryan wonders if Shane can see his glassy eyes.

Shane sighs and rubs his temple. “I just want to make sure you are okay. I don’t judge people to have secrets that they can’t tell anyone, but… I just want to make sure you are okay.”

Ryan blinks his glassy eyes. That actually caught him off guard a little bit. To think that Shane genuinely, really, worried about him and to admit it openly like this.

“Sadly, all the time you have known me. I have been like this… so, this is categorized as normal for me. What I’m doing now is actually to protect you. You don’t need to worry about me, but worry about yourself.”

Shane looks confused, Ryan can understand that much. Until a few weeks ago, they were just two normal people, as normal as they can be. There was nothing weird for their friendship, Shane is just a normal human being and Ryan with his secret. But now, everything suddenly changed, something that Shane can’t understand.

“If you can’t tell me, I guess I can’t do anything about that,” Shane finally sighs. Ryan feels a bit relieved, he knows Shane isn’t someone who just forces someone else to tell the truth.

“But, that doesn’t mean I can just pretend I know nothing, when I know something is going on with you,” Shane looks upset.

Ryan chuckles bitterly, right. It is selfish of him to think they can just go back being normal friends again, when Shane knows that Ryan isn’t normal at all.

“And I also just can’t leave you alone either…”

Ryan blinks his eyes a few times, now Shane looks at him with determined eyes.

“If you can’t tell me, then I just can find out by myself.”

“NO, YOU IDIOT, YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DEALING WITH!” That is the last thing Ryan wants Shane to do, he even considers it is okay to distance himself from his best pal for a while, but certainly not this.

“NO, FUCK YOU!” Shane looks as angry as him and it makes Ryan wavers. “I will do what I want. If you think you are doing this for my safety without my consent, then I can do the same things as well!”

Ryan is at loss for words and Shane turns around. The shorter guy can only stare into his taller friend’s back with such a complex feeling. He feels disappointed, because the talk is backfired, rather than making Shane back down, it made him determined. Ryan also feels scared, he doesn’t know what Ricky will do to Shane.

But, Ryan also feels sort of… happy, which is insane for him to feel so. They are just coworkers, just happy-go-lucky friends… there should be no reason for Shane to risk his safety for Ryan. Or, _is that only his negative thinking?_

Ryan wants to cry. Still, he is still at square one. _What should he do to fix this mess?_

0o0o0o0

Shane is scribbling in his notepad almost furiously. He never asks Ryan to protect him, _so why does he choose to do so? And protect him from what---_

_From that no-Ryan?_

Shane writes ‘NO-RYAN’ in his notepad. What is this… being? Shane can’t even tell if he is a person or not. What he knows is that he isn’t Ryan that he knows.

Shane writes again, ‘Ryan’ then ‘no memory’ then draws an arrow to the ‘no-Ryan’. It is safe to assume that Ryan doesn’t have the memory when no-Ryan takes over his body. But, Shane wonders if this applies as well for no-Ryan.

“ _You see, Long Legs. I never take back my own words, but don’t make it hard for me to do that.”_

“ _It isn’t like… I don’t want to tell you, but I_ **_can’t_ ** _, bud.”_

Ryan can’t tell him. No-Ryan is holding himself back. Then, does that mean they have some sort of contract? Shane writes ‘contract’ and draws the line that links Ryan and no-Ryan.

That contract… what is it about? Something that stops Ryan for telling him.

“ _What I’m doing now is actually to protect you.”_

Is it his safety then? Shane scribbles ‘my safety?’ beside the ‘contract’ word.

“ _Sadly, all the time you have known me. I have been like this.”_

 _So it means Ryan's condition has been like this ever since Shane knows him?_ Then why he never noticed before, Shane bits his lips. Sharing your body with an unknown jerk like that, to think that Ryan has been dealing with that alone.

_Now what should he do?_

Shane writes down again. ‘Make sure Ryan is safe’. Right, that is his sole purpose for risking his friendship with Ryan. Even though it is hard to admit, he would be sad if their friendship suffered through this, but if it means that he can keep Ryan safe then… it will be worth it.

_Now, what should he do?_

Shane writes a few things and double checks them.

‘Find out what is no-Ryan.’

‘Find out what is no-Ryan doing with Ryan’s body.’

‘Make sure no-Ryan doesn’t harm Ryan.’

They sound simple but, how will Shane do this? The tall man sighs and stretches himself on the sofa.

“It seems you have a long day, Shane.”

Shane looks at someone beside him, he almost forgets that he is still at the office. “You too, Aria.”

His co worker also looks sour with a laptop on his lap, maybe related to their work. Being a video producer is tiring, but much more simple than what Shane needs to deal with now.

“Yeah, I was so sure about my video proposal, but to think Ryan just shut it down so quickly…,” Aria sighs. Shane blinks and just smiles bitterly, to think the source of their problem is the same person.

“What video proposal?” Shane asks, not because he is interested but because he needs some distraction. His head is hurting too bad, he knows he can’t keep thinking about Ryan’s secret too long without losing his insanity.

“Ah right, you weren’t in the meeting,” Aria mumbles. Shane is used to being kept in the dark for video proposals for Buzzfeed Unsolved content, so it might be about that. “You see, I found this urban legend about ‘The Shadowman’. It is really interesting, I thought I can cover it as a content for True Crime or at least, just a stand alone video for Unsolved Network.”

“The Shadowman? What a terrible name, so cartoon-ish.”Shane isn’t impressed with the name, but he is still intrigued a little.

“Right? He goes with some other names like, The Wrecker or The Phantom Hitman. Well, what I found is… this urban legend famous around criminals. There is this person who is famous at a hitman but also good at messing up some big projects of bad people. Some say that he is a serial killer who preys on criminals, but some others say he is an undercover agent who tries to get information.”

Shane wrinkles his eyebrow. “I don’t know how to make that guy up, so is he bad or is he good?”

“I’m not so sure either, I was about to conduct a deeper investigation for the video but Ryan shot this down. He said this is too dangerous and we aren’t even real journalists.”

Shane nods, he can understand the dangerous part. “But, I think we can present it as an urban legend. The name is so cartoonish, I think most people won’t even believe it is real.”

“Yeah, I told him that too, but Ryan still refused. And I already worked so hard for this video proposal, I really think this is interesting…”

Shane thinks for a while. It isn’t the first time Ryan rejected some people’s video proposals, that is his job as senior producer. He usually refused to cover criminal stories that are too dangerous or too recent.

But, to cover this as an urban legend should be safe enough. The story is interesting, as in fiction. It doesn’t need to be taken so seriously, it doesn’t like this lame Shadowman person is real to begin with.

“Can I take a look at your slides?” Shane asks. Aria looks unsure for a moment. “Ryan has rejected it, it should be okay for me to take a look.”

“I guess so…,” Aria offers his laptop rather reluctantly. Shane scrolls down the slide and read them briefly. Aria hasn’t presented the Shadowman as a case yet, but as an urban legend. There are no list of victims, nor suspects, but more about the rumors and some questionable proof that this urban legend is a real person.

It is lacking to be covered in True Crime, though maybe it can be covered in Supernatural, still it is interesting enough to be one of video content for Unsolved Network.

To think Ryan just shot this down quickly, why?

“Did Ryan give you a full reason why he rejected this?” Shane asks his coworker.

“Hm… he only said that this is too dangerous and possibly, if the Shadowman is real, the person is still active. That is too risky, that’s all he said.”

“It shouldn’t be dangerous to cover this as an urban legend, or even if he is real, it is still fine if we don’t cover it deep enough,” Shane ponders for a moment.

“Right? I think so too, I’m not a real journalist. There is a limit to what I can do, though… maybe it is still considered as dangerous and Ryan doesn’t want to take any risk.”

Shane is silent for a while. Right, maybe this is a valuable clue.

“Say Aria, you don’t mind if I steal this video project from you, right? I will treat you back later.”

“Huh?” Aria looks so surprised but Shane is full of smiles.

Right, Shane doesn’t think of it like that. He should take full advantage of being a video producer and Ryan coworker to find out about Ryan’s secret. This is a perfect excuse and it is a bonus if he can get some support from the office too.

He feels bad for Ryan, but Shane has decided it.

He would make sure that Ryan is okay and safe, to do that he is ready to do anything now. Even if it means he will risk his life for it.

End

**Author's Note:**

> So what is Ricky? Let's work our head together along with poor Shane  
> Is Ricky bad? Will he hurt Shane or Ryan? Can you guess?  
> I finally insert part of their deal here  
> Will Shane figure it out? And what will Ryan do about it?  
> Please leave kudo and comment if you enjoy this story!


End file.
